I made it through the weekend, Yay!

It feels like a major accomplishment to make it through the weekend even if I know that it isn't.  Time seemed to be very strange.  It either seemed to be going maddenly slow or going by so fast that I wasn't sure what exactly I had been doing for that time.  I was so sure that I would wake up to my period starting every morning that it seemed a little unreal that it hadn't occurred.

Saturday I got out of the house for awhile.  I went to O.ld Na.vy in the attempt to use of two X-m.as gift cards I received.  Unfortunately, I'm a little too fat to fit into any the clothes they had at the store.  I thought about using them to get a baby item but their clothes were so gender specific that I didn't want to get anything and then end up with the opposite gender.  After that, I went and watched a movie.  H.an.sel & Gre.tel.  It was pretty decent overall.  A little gorier than I thought it would be but I enjoyed it.  Sunday I just couldn't find the energy to do anything.  I napped for a few hours in the middle of the day and still went to bed early because I was so tired. 

While I'm trying not to stress about any possible damage I could have done my unborn child (I keep reminding myself that plenty of women don't know they're pregnant and do things much worse than take a few advil and use a heating pad and they had normal healthy pregnancies and babies), I have stressed about whether or not I'll make it at all.  I've become so pessimistic, especially after reading so many blogs where horrible things happen that I can't quite believe that I'm pregnant and will stay pregnant.  I'm sure eventually that will go away.  Maybe.  Possibly.  Hopefully.  I think I just need to avoid the blogs where things have gone wrong.

I've been spending the morning figuring out the prenatal care thing.  Unfortunately, my preferred method of using a midwife is not covered by my insurance.  Which means that I may not be able to use a midwife if they are too expensive or don't have a decent payment plan.  Which sucks because the hospitals in my area are really bad about doing c-sections first and natural labor never.  I'm still looking into it so I may be able to work something out. 

I'm having a hard time keeping my mouth shut.  I kinda just want to tell everyone but I don't want to say anything too early and then have to tell them about a miscarriage... but it is extremely difficult not to tell.  Grrr....

Symptoms wise..  I'm not nauseous yet although I do have a slight ick feeling going on.  I also have the worst case of munchies ever.  I'm either hungry or feeling ick.  No inbetween right now.  And the bloating... omg.. the bloating is horrible.  Sinuses have also been acting up making it a little difficult to breath which might not be a pregnancy symptom and more just seasonal allergies.  The main change though...  my boobs have become their own continent.  I'm an overweight gal and have always been blessed in the chest department but now they just feel ginormous and the nipples are super sensitive to the point of painful if even brushed up against.  Ugh!  Other than that, I don't really feel pregnant. 

I think I've rambled enough for one day.
Marielle