Financial woes....

I'm not wealthy.  I come from lower (like right above the poor line) middle class.  I've always pretty much lived from pay check to paycheck.  I've never really had anyone to help me out financially but have managed to do okay for myself (I'm not solidly middle class and no longer just right about that poor line).  When I started ttcing, while I still lived paycheck to paycheck, I was getting to the point where I was getting old debt paid off and could start thinking of saving for things I wanted or had just put off getting because of finances.  I kind of jumped right into ttcing due to a few different things just lining up at the right time that convinced me to go ahead even though I hadn't saved up a nest egg (which is a little... okay alot stupid of me). 

Suddenly, I had financial stresses coming out of no where.  Different things have been hitting my pocket book to the point where I was considering putting off ttcing for awhile.  I was actually at the point where if this cycle doesn't work, that I was going to take a few months off until I got things under control.  I spent most of my birthday worrying about money and not getting another year older or even obsessing about whether or not this cycle is a bust.  Other than being weirded out over my parents deciding to visit me, I spent most of yesterday depressed and wishing I could just hide under the covers for awhile.

On the way back to the house from my evening walk with the dog, I checked my mail and had a letter from the bank that holds my mortgage (I bought my house last August).  I was really worried about what it could be but opened it up right away and discovered that it was a escow refund check.  Something I didn't even know I could get. I'm not going to mention an amount but... well, it's enough that it solves the major financial woes I'm currently having and having enough left over to put into savings for a rainy day.  This couldn't have come at a better time and well, unless the cycle turns out a bfp (which I'm pretty sure it won't seeing as how I'm starting to see the first signs of AF), it will be my best birthday present for the last few years. 

In other news...  my parents bought me a coffee machine... one that I already had.  Fortunately, they included the receipt so I took it back.  Now I just have to figure out what to get instead since I don't need to use that money to pay something off.  I also have a $100 gi.ft card from my co-workers to spend.  Hmm... decisions... decisions....Top choices... replace my gaming system that was stolen last year, buy a new camera that actually works, replace my broken dvd player, or maybe just go to the mall and impulse buy.  Will sleep on it and decide later.. any suggestions???

Now, I'm going to go have a good cry (or should I say finish the crying jag from earlier) and get some sleep.

Marielle