Wolf, Wolf!!

I kinda feel like my body is doing this.  Crying wolf only for nothing to be there.  Or maybe its that bully on the playground that picks on the kid that never learns to stop taking the bait and always falls for the trick.  (For the record, I was that kid that always took the bait.)  Anyway, still nothing.

Last night, went to bed.  Thought I could feel AF creeping in but decided I would wait until I started cramping and then take pain killers.  I was kinda surprised to wake up this morning to my alarm.  AF's favorite time to start is between 1am and 4am.  No show and its morning.  I have a morning routine where I get up an hour before I need to and open the back door for the dog to go out and then I feed her before going back to bed for an hour.

Did that and then went and laid back down and cramps started up again.  They were so bad that I thought here we go.  I'm starting.... Only not.  Just a case of diarrhea.  TMI, I know.  Anyway, again, nothing is happening and that tiny, tiny seed of hope I've been harboring swelled up. 

Finished getting ready for work and on my way to work kept cramping so kept thinking I'm starting.  I figured it would be a waste of money and time to stop somewhere for a test.  I decide at practically the last moment to go ahead and stop and pick up a test.  In the area where I live most of the stores I have in my area are 24 hour stores.  In the area where I work... not so much.  Of course, my first and second stops, both pharmacy stores, don't open for another 20 mins and I am way too impatient to wait for them to open, so I decide to go to Krog.er which is a block further down.  I didn't think I was going to be able to get test there either because I know the Kr.oger near my house keeps them locked up.  I was already imagining the comical post of running to three or four different stores trying to find a store that had hpts where I could get them.  Fortunately for my sanity, this one had one not locked up but it is the generic K.roge.r brand test which I've never used and never even heard of before.  I just grab it and go.

Finally I get to work and stealthily make my way to the restroom and test using smu or is it third.  Now I can't even remember how many times I've gone to the bathroom this morning.

Looks pretty negative to me.  Although I keep swearing I see a shadow line... but I'm pretty sure that is just my eyes tricking me and not it actually being there.

Soooo....  more waiting.. cause obviously AF is f*ck*ng with me now.  I've never been this late* before so I don't even know what to think.  Do I still hope?  Do I stop hoping?  Is AF going to start any minute now or am I just going crazy???

I think that I've lost my freaking mind.  Really. 

Marielle

P.S.  I have ridiculously on time periods.  I'm 27 days unless I screw with my cycle by self medicating.  Medications (like Mid.ol & Ibup.rofe.n) cause me to be delayed by a day or two but I haven't taken either this cycle because I didn't want to chance it.  So other than pregnancy, my cycle this month has no reason to be delayed.  None.  So where is it.  According to my handy dandy cycle keeper I should have started days ago.  Like three days ago.  I don't even know what to think at this point.  And of course, I still feel as if AF is about to start right this minute.  I'm sure my coworkers think I have a uti or something with as many times as I've run to the bathroom this morning to check.