Well... maybe next cycle...

Sooo... I met the new donor.  Doesn't give me the wiggins like my last one so we'll see on that front.  Original plan was to start next month but I am O'ing on Weds so since I didn't have any objections to him, I started making plans to meet on Mon & Tues since I'm off until Thurs.  But oh no, that is just not going to happen cause as soon as I start planning, I get a call from the co worker who is filling in for me.  Her mom went into the hospital so she'll be out of the office this week and I'll have to come in.  I feel bad for her and wish there was something I could do to help but on the other hand I'm a little frustrated.  This isn't the first time that I've made plans to meet with a donor only to have to cancel due to unexpected things happening.   I did an insem today but since it is 3 days before O, I'm not going to have much hope for this cycle.  (Oh who am I kidding... I'm totally going to be obsessed and hoping that it works.)  Anywayyyyyyyyyy....  2ww here we go again.  Must not obsess.... must not obsess....

Maybe if I tell myself that enough times I will follow instructions.  Unfortunately, since the new donor lives an hour away, I'm not going to be able to meet with him as often as I would like to.  Traffic is a killer where I live so it would make trying it during the work week nearly impossible unless I want to be getting home at midnight.  

Last year I had told my mother that I planned to become a SMC.  She was all for it and has bugged me many times asking if there was a baby on the way yet.  I finally had to tell her I was putting it on hold for a little while.  I talked to her earlier today and for a moment I almost mentioned resuming trying.  But then common sense reared its ugly head and reminded me how disappointed she was each month when there was a bfn.  So I decided to hold off until I actually have something to tell her.

The other day I had to work an event for my company and the coworker who got pregnant by accident while I was trying was there.  Somehow the conversation turned to babies and I let slip that last year I had been trying but stopped.  She got mad at me for putting things on hold and told me I shouldn't have worried about the timing.  While that was the final straw that convinced me to put it on hold for awhile, it wasn't the full story but it did make me think.  I've spent the months since thinking about ttc almost everyday (and becoming moody and pissy because of the wasted "O's").  I realized there wasn't anything major holding me back.  So that is why I've stopped putting it off.  There are reasons I could continue to put it off but nothing that demands it.  So maybe I can convince myself to stop obsessing now.....  Right... I'm going to go take my delusions elsewhere.

I bought a new car as a birthday present to myself this year.  I swore I wasn't going to do it but at the time I just needed to do something to lift my spirits.  My last car was a two door coupe so this time I remembered to get a four door so I wouldn't have problems getting a car seat into it.  I remember researching that last year and wondering how I was going to get a baby in and out with a two door car.  Keeping my fingers crossed that it will become necessary soon.  (<-- See! So not obsessing.)

On another note, while I was out today, there was a fender bender in the parking lot of a gas station I had stopped in.  Normally, I wouldn't pay much attention but I noticed the driver of one of the cars get out and rush around to the *front* passenger side and pull out a baby.  This baby couldn't  be more than a couple of months old.  I thought you weren't supposed to put a child that small in the front seat?  I then noticed that she had an adult sitting in the back seat with space next to her that a car seat could go, so couldn't help wondering why she had the baby in the front seat (with the car seat facing sideways?  Umm...  Do I need to do more research or is that another nono?). 

Off to not obsess and catch up on blogs.
Marielle