Let's get started...

Well, after the last post you may be thinking that is the end...  Give up and forget about TTC until much later in the future.  Uh.. you would be wrong.  You see, I sat down and budgeted and re-budgeted and thought and thought some more and came to the horrifying conclusion that if I kept putting this off that there would never be the "perfect" time.  I've realized over the years, every single time, I've gotten to a time where financially things are going good, something always goes wrong.  Whether it is health issues, housing issues, pet issues, or job issues, something goes wrong. 

I came to the realization that if I put of ttc until I got this fixed and paid off the outrageous loan that years would have gone by and I guarantee you that something else would go wrong.  I decided that I didn't want to be 40 and ttc.  I doubt I'll even have a menstrual cycle when I'm 40.  I asked all the women on my mom's side and it was pretty much unanimous that all the women hit menopause in mid to late thirties.  On my dad's side, the women hit it in their early forties.  I'm not willing to take the chance that I'll still have a cycle at 40.  Also, I would like to avoid the health issues associated with having a child in their forties.

So after much deliberation and thinking and wondering how horrible a person it makes me, I've decided to continue with ttc.  I will just try to get the dental crap out of the way soon. 

I'm not sure if I will stick with my current sperm donor.  I met him through the internet and I was okay with him the first time we met... but since then... just something seems off.  I don't know if it is just me getting nervous about what's going to happen soon or if I'm picking up a legitimate problem.  I'm not really sure what to do.  I actually think if I do change donors that I would prefer to find someone that will ship.  This awkward face to face meetings might be what is throwing me off.  I'm not actually sure what I should do here.  Is this a case of the jitters and/or awkwardness causing me to pick up something questionable.. or is this my gut telling me, there is something wrong with this guy? 

Anyway, this is the week for ovulation.  I'll see what the OPK says tomorrow.  I should be getting close.

Marielle