Sooo.. remember my last post where I said I'm just looking at this as testing the waters kind a thing and believe this month is a bust.... Yeah, well, apparently I was lying to myself. I am fully on the the crazy train. Completely lost it and am fully aware of it.
Why do I think I'm crazy? Glad you asked... You see I thought I would just forget about this month and just focus on getting ready for future attempts. I really thought I had myself convinced that I'm not expecting success this first time around. I am really good at self-deception it seems.
I feel a twinge in my lower abdomen, or get a bad case gas, or a headache or I have a little bit of nausea or indigestion... and the thought crosses my mind that maybe it is related to hormones.. pregnancy hormones... when I KNOW there is no way that I would be having any of these symptoms at this early a stage if by chance there is a baby. So even though it is too early to even have the very first symptoms... my brain automatically starts wondering when it really shouldn't.
I knew that the 2ww's would drive me bonkers but I honestly thought I could escape it this time. Not so much apparently. I am now off to try to distract myself in the hopes of retaining some semblance of sanity.
Marielle
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